Changing all I've ever known.

Monday night I couldn't take it anymore. I hadn't talked to Jamie since the night of homecoming and with my sister constantly talking about her I just couldn't handle it. Unfortunately I decided to come to my senses at one in the morning when I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking my guts out, but strangely I didn't feel drunk or buzzed like I normally would, I felt weird. Like since I had stopped talking to her things wern't the same. Like my life had slowly been spinning and I didn't realize it. I had been getting into fights every night and kept warning Angela, telling her that Johnny was gonna break her heart or hurt her in a fit of rage, and as a result she had spent the entire week sleeping on the Curtis' couch, and I missed her so much. Both of them. Both of the people that made my life what it was, and I had driven both of them away. So tonight I decided to fix it and find out the truth that I had been awaiting since I was seven.

I made my way down the block to the Matthews' residence. I finally stood in front of Jamie's house and mentally slapped myself. How the hell was I supposed to know what window was hers. So I pretty much winged it. I picked up a pebble and gently tossed it toward the window hearing a little ping as the rock hit the window pane, I said in a quiet voice, "Jamie!" No response. "Jamie, open the window!" I picked up another rock and tossed it up. No reply. I picked up another rock and the next thing I knew I heard a warrior-like cry come from the side of the house and next thing I saw was Two-Bit; champion moron, came sprinting towards me with a freaking bat!

"SHIT! Two-Bit, stop! It's me Curly, put down the bat! Dude, put down the bat! PUT DOWN THE DAMN BACK, GOD DAMNIIT!" He stopped and dropped the bat and stopped his Pocahontas call that with our luck probably woke up all of Oklahoma. -.-

"Whoa, sorry, man, thought you were that creep who messed with Jamie a coupla' nights ago. Why did he have to bring that up? It made me sick to think of someone doing that to her. MY best friend, my Jamie.

"Nah, I just really need to talk to her. Did I hit on your window or her window?"

"Mine. Kit almost had a heart attack, so I had to go play the sexy-fiance-who saves the day act and run out here in 13 degree weather with a bat, so for the love of Jesus Christ man, go around to the other side of the house, knock on her god forsaken window, talk to her about whatever shit you need to, and please go home so I can dream of beer and fucking Kit." He commanded.

"Alright, sorry, bro, sweet dreams.." He winked at me and jogged back into the house with another Indian cry and his weapon of choice.

I walked over to Jamie's side of the window gathered up all of my courage said fuck the rocks and climbed up the trellis. At that point I was really cold and in danger of becoming an ice cube so I knocked on the window. After a minute she opened the window and screamed. It would have been funny if it hadn't scared the shit out of me and made me loosen my grip on the trellis and almost plunge to my death. It also didn't help that I thought this was hilarious and started laughing my ass off.

"Curly! What the hell are you doing here? At one in the morning! First you don't talk to me for two months, then you ignore me, now you're suddenly hanging out my window, dude, you're freaking crazy." She shrieked at me. I smiled to myself, I had missed her motherly ways, how she felt the need to take care of everything around her. I loved that quality about her.

"Yeah, well it hasn't exactly been picnic for me either, now if you don't mind I don't exactly intend on spending the night hanging out a window, dying of frost bite and getting yelled at, so it'd be amazing if you could scootch over so I can come in." she backed up and pulled the window up fully so I could come in. She was in sweat pants and a tank top with her hair pulled up in a ponytail. She still looked pretty, it was really hard to make her ugly. Especially when she stood her with her arms crossed glaring at me. God, she looked so hot.

I shut the window and we stared at each other. It was pretty awkward, but then again it wasn't. After a minute of staring at each other I folded my arms too and stood there. Then she started yelling at me. I kinda zoned out for most of it then I walked across the room and kissed her on the cheek.

She stood there with a confused look on her face. She said, "So I guess you forgive me for playing you at homecoming.." I replied, "I was never really mad at you. I was more mad at myself for not being able to keep you. I mean obviously I must have done something wrong for you to want Austin not me so it's my fault. Oh and by the way I've been in love with you since I was seven years old." I kind of jumbled it all together so I'm not sure if she understood half the shit I said but the look on her face said she did. Her mouth was hanging open and her arms had dropped to her sides. I take it that was a bad sign.

"I just messed everything up and before I screwed things up further I just had to let you know that. I've wanted to do that since I met you. Don't worry, I'm not going to get in your way with your precious Austin, I just had to tell you before you went off to college and I still had the nerve. We can still be good friends if you want to, but it's time for me to attempt to let go and move on, so I'm gonna go now." I started to walk toward the door to try and salvage what was left of my dignity and leave in a more civilized manner than my entrance, when I felt Jamie's hand reach up to touch my shoulder, and I turned around.

"I thought that is so sweet that you've loved me since I was seven, but I do love Austin and I love you like a brother and I always will. I didn't mean to hurt you. At all. I would never do that. I just don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything, I fucked up, and I apologized, and we move on, that's life. I'm not mad anymore, I'll always love you, it's just something I have to accept, so yeah, I'm gonna go get Angela and fix everything with her."

"Bye, Curly...." She said uneasily. "Adios, James."

I opened the door and hit Two-bit in the face with the door, Kit had the sense to jump back when she heard us say good bye.

"Well.....?" Kit asked.

"Well what?"

"Well, what's up with you guys?"

"Nothing changed. I just had to tell her something, which I don't know why you're asking considering you heard the whole damn thing."

"Eh, well I didn't want to appear nosey."

"Too late." I walked out of the house and down the road to pick up Angela and bring her home. I opened the door and she was on the couch asleep with Johnny's arms wrapped around her. -.- She was still clothed thank god. I removed them from around Angela he opened his eyes and was about to protest when I gave him the death glare and he adjusted himself so I could pick her up. He gave me her jacket I wrapped it around her shoulders wrapped her up in a blanket and carried my seventeen year old sister home.

Well, that sucks.

As y'all know I asked Jamie to homecoming. By some miracle she said yes! I was so excited, I hadn't like a girl like this in a long time. She was totally different than the girls that I typically liked; smart, funny, classy, nice, she was great. I wasn't whole educated in the whole art of preparing for a dance so I just winged it and bought her a corsage, I figured it couldn't hurt. But what did hurt was that stupid fucking tie. Bugged the shit out of me to wear, but I figured it was worth it if Jamie would like me; boy was I stupid.



I picked her up around 7:30 and we drove the school. She looked awful pretty with her dress and all, I couldn't believe I was taking Jamie Matthews; class president, to homecoming, just didn't seem real. I tried to talk to her about just school and stuff and I could tell she wasn't real interested. Probably nervous for getting on stage, I thought. But now I know she was thinking about her precious stupid freaking Austin. Okay, besides the point, when we got to the dance we danced for a little while and eventually she had to go off and do her thing so I went over to the food.



"Heeeey Curly," Cheyenne Hale said in a tone that was meant to be seductive, but I barely noticed. "Likin' the dance?"

"Mhm," I mumbled. Sophie was one of the biggest flirts I had ever met in my life. She looked an awful lot like Angela but Sophie was dumb and had zero common sense, Angela knew when a guy wasn't interested and when to back off however Sophie couldn't take a hint. She had long blue-black hair like Angela and almost the same facial features but she wasn't as exotic as Angela, and her eyes weren't bright blue, they were an olive green framed with thick eye-lashes. She was wearing a tight, skimpy dark purple dress that brought out her eyes, silver eye-shadow and I'm not gonna lie, if I didn't like Jamie I probably would've hooked up with her.

She slipped her arm around my waste and I immediately shook her off. "What's up with you?" She asked in a whiny voice. "Not in the mood, Sophie, talk to ya later." She stood there looking dejected with her arms crossed as Jamie walked on the stage.

She looked so pretty there with the light shining down on her that I didn't hear a word she said, I just stared. She eventually walked down the stairs and I couldn't find her for a while. Eventually when I found her she was fighting with Angela and Brook, I was so confused, but it was getting pretty violent so we all decided to grab our girls, the only issue was that man-whore Austin decided to grab, my date.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked in an accusatory tone. "I'm helping her, Austin replied simply." "She's my date man, I said my voice almost cracking." "Really, well she kissed me and not you, so?" Austin said. "Just go, man, just, go." I started to say as I attempted to pull Jamie away, but Austin punched me in the stomach so I immediately let go. Obviously, she didn't care enough to tell Austin to stop. I walked away with a broken heart and a broken rib.

Welcome To the Jungle.

My life has been so hectic lately I can barely keep up. I'm just gonna try to take it easy and go with the flow. (Which I severely doubt will happen.) But anyway, so I was trying out my new chill life style out at the Dingo with some guys from my gang when that broad I tried to pick a few weeks ago comes strollin' in through the door like she owns the damn place. I later discovered that this was Two-Bit Matthew's younger sister. Sure was a looker. Name was Jamie,not Olivia. Hey, I know I'm not known for my excellent heating skills alright? Just my kick-ass-ness :p.
But anyway, I was watchin' talk to Cade's sister from across the room when suddenly she catches my eye. It was strange. Normally when I catch a girl's eye I'd smirk or something but this time I just stared. Not flirtatiously or seductively just with curiosity. She seemed different than other girls around here. I know that sounds like total bull shit and extremely cliched but it's true all the same. She seemed older, more mature. Experienced, but a different kind. She had an air that made her seem older but she looked ready to have fun any second. I liked her already and I hadn't even had a full-on conversation with her yet.

I approached her looked her dead in the eye and asked her if we could talk. The last time we talked she must've had her period or something cause this time she smiled nodded and excused herself from her little group. I led her over to a booth in the corner.
"This is an improvement, I said through a smirk as I pulled a cigarette out of my jacket pocket."
She merely cocked an eyebrow and coolly replied, "The improvement is this time you actually talked to my like a human being, not like a play-toy."
Good lord she was one of them chicks who didn't like to be called babe, great just I what I need, someone else to criticize me.
"I was just messin' with ya. Livin' with that brother of yours you'd think that you could learn to take a joke by now."
"There's a fine line between joking and rude, she said with an edge to her voice."
After that I began fiddling with zipper on my jacket. It was awkward for a second until I blurted can you skateboard?"
She squinted her eyes and cocked her head to the side before she answered, "Ummm, no? Why should I be able to?"
"No! I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to learn some time." This was strange I've never had problems talking to girls before. Why did I start now?
"Sure, she replied."
"But it's not a date, I have a boyfriend."
"Yes, I am well aware. He is staring me down right now, I gestured toward the door where Johnny had walked in with Dally and Steve."
"Well, I best be getting out of here. I'm trying this new thing where I don't start shit and try not to get my face beat in, so I'll get your number and catch ya later, Jamie"
"Alrighty, Shepard, see ya."
And with that I got up from the booth brushed past the Curtis gang and made my way home.

Met my Match.

Heeeey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Been busy pickin' up new broads and such. You know how it is.

Any-who, the other day I was at Buck's drinkin' and what-not when I saw this good-lookin' chick hangin' with Byron what's his face. When I like somethin' I gotta have it, you know me. So I walk over there and put on my best tough face but I can tell she sees right through it and it scares the shit outta me.

"Hey baby, why don't 'cha come hang with real men and we'll show ya a good time, I whispered to her."



"Sorry, bub, I got all the fun I need right here, and I don't need you and your greasy ass to have a good time, I know all about you, I ain't stupid, okay, she snapped."

Damn, she sure was good-lookin'. She had long wavy brown hair halfway past her shoulders. Her eyes were this hazel-green color. It was a weird color, well actually unique. I had never seen anyone so right.

"Well you sure are stupid if ya don't give me a chance, c'mon, sweetie, just come for a ride, I asked slyly."
Secretly I wondered if Angela was behind this. She looked like the kind of girl she'd hang around with. Maybe she'd warned her to piss me off. God knows what goes on in that sister of mine's head. She rejected my offer again with a few choice words of her own, and someone called her over. Her name was Olivia. Eventually I walked away. But no chance in hell was I giving up just yet. I like a good challenge and the games had just begun.

A Life For Living And a Life for Learning

Yesterday, I went to the beach with Tim, and we saw this super cute girl, about my age, maybe a little younger. So, of course I went to talk to her. I say "Hey, maybe we can do something later." and she goes "I have summer work to do, so I can't." and I said "You actually do that useless crap?" then she shook her head and walked away. So, I got no answer. Apparently, girls actually care about school and actually waste their lives doing their work. PATHETIC!

It Feels Like Forever Ago.

It's been 6 years... 6 years since i've seen him. He left when I was 11. Charming, Funny and Handsome. Yet, vicious, angry and abusive when he had too much. Mom had had enough. She was tired of living behind closed doors, scared of what people might think. But, I looked up to him, for a strange reason. His strength, his fearlessness, he wasn't afraid to take out his anger and not keep it inside. Its been exactly 6 years since i've seen him. He left July 19, 2004. It feels like a lifetime. Maybe, sometime when I grow up, maybe we can all see him again. Angela, Tim and I.

All Work, No Play.

Last week, I got an actual job for the first time in my fifteen years. It was at the 99 Resturant. I was a bus-boy. Checking out all the chicks was the only perk to the job. So on Wednesday, I was cleaning up after this super hot Portugese girl. Before she left, I made sure to let her know that I was quite interested. I gave her my number and told her to give me a call. The next night, I got a call from her cell phone. I answered it, obviously! I said "hey, baby." Turns out, the hot "chick" turned out to be the resturant owners daughter. Oops! Needless to say, I was fired during that phone call. Thats the last time I get a job. I'd rather just steal my friends money!